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Showing posts with label Discussions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Discussions. Show all posts

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Quote: Sinclair

"It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel."
― Cherise Sinclair

This quote is from Dark Citadel, a novel which was written by Cherise Sinclair. I chose it to write about because I completely empathised with it: one of the reasons being submissive feels so good and right to me is the lack of decision-making and control I have. It made me think of subspace and the sensations I get when I'm in it. The way my body becomes hyper-sensitive and my mind becomes clouded is so amazing that it leaves me just as I am. When I'm in subspace I don't worry about anything; my usual fears about my body or what others think evaporates and my entire being becomes hostage to my senses.

It's truly an experience I think everyone should have at least once!

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Sunday, 16 September 2012

Quote: Nietzsche #4

"What is the seal of liberation? - No longer being ashamed in front of oneself."
― Friedrich Nietzsche

One of the main things about kink and BDSM is surrendering to your desires. In order to do that, you must be able to face them head-on and accept them as part of who you are. There were a lot of kinks I had that I felt so miserable for having because they were too weird but now it's different. If I like something, I say so and I don't back down. Sure, some people would be horrified by what turns me on but I'm at the stage in my life now where I've realised their opinions don't matter. Unless I'm asking them to take part, it's none of their business what I'm into.

Being upset by who I am has never done me any good. By being so open and uncaring I feel more free than I have in a long time and it is simply glorious. Learning to let go of the small things is more liberating than I ever thought possible and I don't think I would ever have been able to do it without my Daddy's help. His guidance and affection for me has allowed me to become closer to who I truly am and I could not explain to you how grateful I am for it. I have helped him awaken to desires he didn't know he had either, which feels amazing. Despite the fact that this blog is about my growth, I feel that both he and I have grown together and the idea warms every part of me.

He even told me that he can't picture going back to a vanilla relationship ever again. The best part is that I can't either.

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Poll: What Do You Want To See More Of?

I don't get many comments but I do get a lot of views, so I'm assuming that I do have viewers. I would like to know what you personally would like to see more of on here, so if you could take a few seconds to tick these boxes that would be awesome.

I know there are some things on there that haven't be posted or even alluded to yet but everything is in progress so just vote for what you seem interested in. Thank you!

What do you want to see more of at "Thoughts of a Growing Sub"?
  
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Try here: What do you want to see more of at 'Thoughts of a Growing Sub'?

Any responses will be taken on board and I will consider very carefully what to post on here to make you all want to read it more!

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Quote: Bean

"The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent from the bottom."
― Joseph Bean

This is an interesting quote, in my opinion. Usually people would argue that it is the bottom's job to give consent rather than the top's to pull it from them. This makes sense though - depending on the relationship and agreed limits between the two, a top will be able to push the bottom's boundaries. However, if they can't successfully coerce their partner into doing it, then that doesn't make them a bad top. It just means that the bottom isn't ready yet.

Another reason this quote interested me is because there has been a lot of debate about consent on Fetlife recently and the grey line that some people tread. Some like their consent to be ignored whereas others need to have given it to you explicitly and you cannot tell just by looking. Because of this, consent is a bit of an awkward topic right now but that tends to make it all the more interesting to discuss.

Personally, I require to have given verbal consent before I allow anyone to touch me, let alone push my boundaries. With my Daddy it is a little different as we have a contract where we have discussed consent in detail but other people need it from both me and him before I am comfortable with anything happening. For the most part we are monogamous in sex and in kink but lately we have toyed with the idea of playing with others together on a case-by-case basis. He played a little bit with a lovely owned slave at the fetish event we go to because I discussed it with him beforehand and we may both play with him at the next one. His Mistress is very happy for us to do so, since she took a shine to us when we met. Of course, any play will depend on everyone's feelings at the time and we won't cross any boundaries without explicit permission from them both.

A different dom at the event crossed my comfort zone when I had come out of the toilet by myself and that won't be happening again. It very much upset me because I was quite shocked and didn't really know what to do about it. I now will have to go to the toilet with someone I know to prevent it happening and that will unfortunately take away some of my fun in the future. He even asked Daddy if he could play with me and when Daddy said probably not, he replied "we'll see what happens" which made us both uncomfortable.

Both Daddy and I are big on consent issues because to us it denotes respect and we find that important in anything we do. I wish others were as thorough in gaining consent (or at least knowing boundaries beforehand) as we are. It would make everything a little easier.

Sunday, 19 August 2012

Quote: Nietzsche #3

"You look up when you wish to be exalted. And I look down because I am exalted."
― Friedrich Nietzsche

I think Nietzsche might be the man I will quote the most when it comes to BDSM. Whether he means it or not, a lot of the things he said can apply to a BDSM relationship.

Take this one for example: there is an implication that the person he is talking to is looking up at him while he looks down upon them. This position is often used by Daddy and I at events and in his home. I spend a lot of time on my knees staring up at him and just by doing so I feel very fulfilled. I've heard that a lot of other Doms and subs do this too, so Nietzsche in my mind will always be a kinkster.

Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Quote: Nietzsche #2

"In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play."
"When one has not had a good father, one must create one."
― Friedrich Nietzsche

Two quotes today, since they complement each other well. These remind me of the Daddy/daughter dynamic I have with my own Daddy; there are plenty of children personas inside those who identify as littles and I am one of them. Both Daddy and I have felt let down by our birth fathers too and have sought to resolve that ourselves.

I did this by searching for a man who I felt could protect me and showed him my childish side and Daddy responded very well. In his way, he feels the need to protect and look after me, to make me happy and watch over me. In return I shower him with the unconditional love I feel he deserves and do my best to make him proud every day. We love to play together as well and every time I am good he rewards me with a session, a cuddle or a present.

It just feels so right to have this dynamic with my Daddy and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Sunday, 5 August 2012

Quote: Nietzsche

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything."
― Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche has a lot of quotes that come off as misogynistic but I quite like them. This one in particular isn't as misogynistic as the others since he is indicating that women are powerful.

Quote: Carnegie

"A man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled."
― Andrew Carnegie

I found this in the "50 Shades of Grey" novel by E L James. Despite that, it's a good quote anyway. It reminds me of the way my Daddy owns me, the strong feeling of control and power that radiate from him when he issues an Order.

Quote: De Sade

"When she's abandoned her moral center and teachings...when she's cast aside her facade of propriety and lady-like demeanor...when I have so corrupted this fragile thing and brought out a writhing, mewling, bucking, wanton whore for my enjoyment and pleasure.....enticing from within this feral lioness...growling and scratching and biting...taking everything I dish out to her.....at that moment she is never more beautiful to me."
― Donatien-Alphonse-François de Sade

I love this quote. It's a wonderful representation of how a sadist feels when he plays with someone. It makes me squirm in excitement and heat up in all the right places! ❤